Proposition 8 is overturned!

Thank-you, federal Judge Vaughn Walker for ruling in Perry v. Schwarzenegger that California's Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage, is unconstitutional.

While the case is likely headed to the Supreme Court, it's still a hopeful development for those of us who believe that all Americans are entitled to equal protection under the law. (Slate's Dalia Lithwick has a terrific analysis of the decision.)

Judge Walker notes that California had already issued 18,000 marriage licenses to same-sex couples before the ballot measure passed in 2008 - and has suffered no demonstrable harm.

The state, he writes, has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians and "the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples."

The gay and lesbian couples affected by today's decision are not abstractions. They are our friends, our neighbors, our coworkers, our loved ones. They're in loving, committed relationships. I believe that they are entitled to the same rights as any other American citizens.

In 2009, Broadway Impact held a rally for marriage equality in New York City. Among the speakers was actor David Hyde Pierce, who talked about marrying his partner of 25 years, Brian Hargrove, before Prop. 8 was passed.



The road to equal rights for all Americans has been a long and tortuous one and progress doesn't happen nearly fast enough. But we're getting there. And today is one of the good days, because a more just society benefits all of us.

Into the woods - my Yosemite adventure

A new, six-party documentary by Ken Burns, The National Parks: America's Best Idea, will air on PBS beginning Sept. 27. At the series' Web site, you can submit stories and photographs about your national parks experience.

Here's mine:

In 2004, I visited Yosemite National Park with friends who live near San Francisco. Our first day we drove south, to Wawona, to see the giant sequoias and they were mighty impressive.

The next day, I wanted to spend some time in Yosemite Valley, so we split up. I took a bus from our motel to the visitor center and wandered around, went to the Ansel Adams gallery, saw a movie about the park.

Then, feeling energetic, I went to the information desk to get a list of Yosemite Valley day hikes. The park ranger gave me a sheet of paper with eight or nine hikes, a description and their level of difficulty from easy to very strenuous.

She checked off an "easy" one, Mirror Lake/Meadow, which you can do as either a 2-mile or 5-mile loop. I rode the shuttle bus to the starting point and I was ready to go. This particular hike starts with a paved trail, which was no sweat. Then, feeling ambitious, I went off the trail.

Bad idea.

Athough I was a Girl Scout, I must have missed the meeting where they taught us how to find our way around in the woods. Give me a city neighborhood and I'm fine. But what markers do you use in the woods? All the trees and rocks look alike! And there are no helpful signs to point you in the right direction.

While Yosemite does get crowded in the summer, it's easy to find solitude once you leave the paved paths. Every once in awhile other hikers or runners would come through but I was pretty much alone. The woods were beautiful and I kept climbing until I had a spectacular view of the meadow below.

Once I decided to head back down, though, I was in trouble. I could see the gigantic granite monolith of El Capitan in the distance, so I had a vague idea of which way to head, but I couldn't find anything resembling a paved path.

Of course I didn't bring nearly enough water and I was down to my last granola bar. Yosemite isn't like Disney World, where they check at the end of the day to make sure everyone's made their way out safely. I never tried my cell phone but I'm not sure it would have worked.

Up until that point, my new Merrell hiking shoes had kept me steady on my feet. Then, I fell and skinned my knee. Ouch, did it hurt! Luckily, a couple with a baby were behind me and helped me up. I told them to go on ahead, I'd be fine.

From then on, I walked very gingerly, carefully stepping over every rock. I could not believe there were so many of them. Clearly, this was not a path intended for human use. Mountain goats, maybe.

Eventually, I reached the main road and the shuttle bus back to the visitors center. You would not believe the rush of adrenaline I felt at that point. I felt like John Muir!

I could have gone to the first aid station to get a bandage but I didn't want to miss the next bus to the motel and I wanted to hit the gift shop. I weighed the options - Band-aid, souvenirs - and decided the knee could wait.

Now, I have a lovely, framed Yosemite poster on my wall and an adventure I'll never forget.

Remembering Beverly Garland

I was so sad to hear that actress Beverly Garland died Friday in California. Garland, who was 82, is best known for her role in the last three seasons of the long-running tv series My Three Sons, when her character marries widower Steve Douglas, played by Fred MacMurray. But I remember her for another reason - I once stayed at her hotel.

Twenty years ago, I made my first, and so far only, trip to Southern California. I spent a few days in San Francisco, (one of my favorite cities!) then met a friend in Palo Alto and we drove down the coast to Santa Barbara, where she was in grad school. It was my first time seeing the Pacific Ocean and it was pretty exciting. It really does look very pacific!

When we got to Santa Barbara my friend had to go back to class, so I rented a car and did some sightseeing on my own. I spent a day driving around the city, admiring all the Spanish-style architecture. I drove up north to the magnificent Hearst Castle.

One day I went south, to Los Angeles, so I could take the Universal Studios tour. I was a little nervous about driving to L.A. and contending with the city's notorious freeways. But I was so close to Hollywood and the magic of movies. How could I resist? I made it there without a problem although by the time I left, it was dark and I remember things were a little more hairy.

Universal was lots of fun. The tour takes you on a tram ride through the back lot. I was just looking through my photos and I have one of the Leave It to Beaver house and another of Cabot Cove, from Murder, She Wrote, and a few others that I can't remember what they're supposed to be. I also have pictures of the cars from Back to the Future and Knight Rider and a life-size cardboard cutout of Tom Selleck. I'm pretty sure we saw the shark from Jaws, too.

I thought I'd stay overnight and do some more sightseeing in the morning. I asked a guy at the information booth about a hotel and he suggested the Beverly Garland Hotel. He even said, "You know, the mom from My Three Sons. It was a great suggestion - the hotel, built by Garland's developer husband, was very nice. (It's now the Beverly Garland Holiday Inn.)

The next day, I drove to NBC studios in Burbank, where I saw The Tonight Show set. I stopped at Grauman's Chinese Theatre to see the footprints (and handprints and leg prints) of the stars in cement. I saw the Hollywood sign. I love being a tourist! I had a wonderful trip and Beverly Garland helped make it possible. So I'll always remember her very fondly.

A disappointing vote

As thrilled as I am at the election of Barack Obama as the nation's first African-American president, I am so disappointed over the outcome of Proposition 8 in California. The ballot measure banning gay marriage passed with the support of more than 52 percent of the vote. Opponents of same-sex marriage also won in Arizona and Florida.

I have to admit that I'm too angry and heartsick to blog about the California vote at any length. I'm afraid I'll write something that I'll regret.

But I have to say this: What angers me the most is the way supporters of Proposition 8 tried to argue that they were protecting families, and especially children, from some supposed threat posed by same-sex couples getting married. I will never understand how it could possibly hurt one straight man, woman or child in California if gay and lesbian citizens were treated equally under the law.

Perhaps a couple of years ago, I could have been detached about it, but not anymore, not when they're talking about good, decent people, friends who have enriched my life immeasurably. I have seen my gay and lesbian friends' relationships up close, I have been a guest in their homes. I know that their love harms no one, threatens no one. It especially does not threaten children.

There are many, many threats to children in this world, including inadequate health care, inadequate education, a lack of decent food and housing, domestic violence and the inability of their parents to earn a living wage. I don't see a groundswell of support to do anything about any of them.

As a Jew, I know from history what it's like to have lies told about you, how dangerous that can be, how difficult it is to bring truth to the forefront. Martin Luther King said that "no lie can live forever." I hope he was right.

It's Write to Marry Day

Today is Write to Marry Day in the blogosphere and I'm proud to be a part of it. Also, please click over to this beautiful contribution from the very happily married Modern Fabulousity and check out Amanda at The Ramblings of A Hopeful Artist, truly a fellow fighter for truth, justice and the American way.

If I were writing this blog post 10 or 15 years ago it would have sounded much different - less personal, more theoretical. Back then, I hardly knew anyone who was openly gay. But times have changed. Like just about every other straight person I know, there's someone openly gay or lesbian in our lives - as a friend or acquaintance or neighbor or coworker or family member.

So even though I'm not in California and I don't know anyone who would be affected by Proposition 8, the debate is more personal now than it would have been at an earlier point in my life. When we talk about the rights of same-sex couples to marry, we're talking about my friends, people I work with, people I love and respect and admire. On their behalf, I urge you to vote "no" and protect the civil rights of every California citizen. While I've never lived in California, I've visited a couple of times and one of the things I love about the state is the incredible diversity, both in terms of its geography and its people. I've always believed that the things which unite us as Americans are so much more important than the things which we believe divide us.

As wonderful as my friends are, I'm not asking you to do this because they're nice people. I just believe that it's the right of every American to receive equal treatment under the law, to live life openly and without fear or discrimination, regardless of race, sex, religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation. While I don't think religion should enter into the debate, to me it's as simple as the Golden Rule.

Proposition 8 would overturn a recent state Supreme Court decision paving the way for same-sex marriage. I understand that supporters of the ballot measure say they don't have anything against gay people personally, they're just against "redefining" marriage to include gay and lesbian couples. They predict all sorts of dire consequences if the measure is defeated.

I would argue that if you look at the history of the United States, it's all about "redefinition." We've spent the last hundred years extending equal protection to people who have been historically disenfranchised, who were once thought undeserving of full citizenship solely because of the circumstances of their birth. It is time to finally extend those protections to include gay and lesbian citizens.

Two centuries ago in this country, women couldn't vote and most black people were slaves who could be bought and sold as easily as a piece of furniture. In some communities up until the middle of the 20th century, restrictive covenants kept blacks, Jews, Latinos and Asian-Americans from moving into certain neighborhoods. All of those things have changed. And, I would argue, we're a better country for it.

I live near Massachusetts and from what I can see, life there goes on as normal since same-sex marriage became legal. The only difference is, gay and lesbian citizens are more secure and better protected. And that only strengthens our society, just as the ending of legal discrimination against African-Americans did nearly 50 years ago.

If you question whether the gay-rights movement should be linked to the civil-rights movement for African-Americans, well the late Coretta Scott King spoke to that topic. Here's just one example:

“I still hear people say that I should not be talking about the rights of lesbian and gay people.... But I hasten to remind them that Martin Luther King Jr. said, 'Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.' I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream to make room at the table of brother- and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people.”

As Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick said, "In five years now ... the sky has not fallen, the earth has not opened to swallow us all up, and more to the point, thousands and thousands of good people — contributing members of our society — are able to make free decisions about their personal future, and we ought to seek to affirm that every chance we can."

Finally, there was an interesting opinion piece in the Los Angeles Times a couple days ago by Jonathan Rauch on what's been missing from the public discussion over Proposition 8 - gay people. He points to a recent tv ad produced by opponents of the ballot measure that barely mentions marriage and never uses the word "gay."

Rauch says that when asked about the absence of gay couples, a senior "No on 8" official told KPIX-TV in San Francisco that "from all the knowledge that we have and research that we have, [those] are not the best images to move people." Rauch disagrees, arguing that the absence of gay people "leaves voters of good conscience to conjure in their own minds the ads that are not being aired: Ads that show how gay marriage directly affects the couples and communities that need it most."

Well, we don't hear nearly enough about ordinary, everyday Americans who happen to be gay or lesbian. Their lives and their struggles also embody family values and the American Dream. They can make the case for themselves far more eloquently than I ever could. So I want to leave you with some of their stories, in their own words:

"Taking advantage of California's recent same-sex marriage ruling we "tied the knot" in San Francisco on August 25th. A simple ceremony which took maybe 10 minutes. We told everyone and, on the 17th of October, went to stay for a couple of days with his brother and wife. They very kindly put on a small "do" in honor of our wedding and, as we were leaving on Tuesday the 21st of October 2008 I heard these words for the first time in my life: "Welcome to the family".

"I was married on Monday. In a small, private ceremony, my beloved and I stood with a few family members, looked into each other’s eyes and promised to love each other, to look out for each other’s best interests, and to care for and support each other for the rest of our days, no matter what obstacles life puts in our path. We want this marriage to last a lifetime. But we are afraid if too many Californians listen to lies and fear-mongering and vote “yes” on Proposition 8, our marriage might last only 23 days."

"California's constitutionally legalizing same-sex marriage is so exciting and important; and as we all know, so threatened by Proposition 8, which would remove that right by adding an amendment to discriminate against lesbians and gays who want to marry. Yesterday, we were able to affirm that what we want in the right to marry is all about LOVE and EQUALITY, not about re-establishing two classes of citizens."

"Two months ago, I married the man I love to the great acclaim of our families. Paul and have been married in all but name for six years. We are contributing, tax-paying and law-abiding members of our community. We live active, positive lives. We are well thought of and live in peace with our neighbors. Despite this, some people think the fact that we are both men is the only thing of importance. It invalidates our love, our commitment and especially our claim to equality before the law. Some will go so far as to call us a threat to family, children and faith. We’re not a threat to anyone or anything. Nor is our marriage. We’re just Ben and Paul. And we want to stay married."

Apple fights Proposition 8

Over the past 20 years I've bought five Apple computers and two iPods. I've never considered switching to a PC, always maintaining that I was going to stick with Apple right down to its last percentage of market share.

So I was thrilled last week to read that Apple donated $100,000 to the effort to fight Proposition 8 in California, the ballot measure that would overturn a recent state Supreme Court decision paving the way for gay and lesbian couples to marry. It's always nice when a company you like does something that makes you feel proud rather than ashamed.

Here's the statement that the company posted on its Web site on Friday:

"Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8."

Well, apparently not every Apple customer is as pleased as I am. I first read about the donation on a Web site called AppleInsider. Some of the negative comments shocked me. While many people were supportive, there was an incredible amount of bigotry, with the most disgusting, hateful remarks directed toward gay people. Some people vowed that they would never purchase another Apple product.

Wait a minute, these are my fellow Apple users? I realize now that I was naive, but I always thought of Apple users as a bunch of fair-minded creative types, banding together in an overwhelmingly Windows-dominated world, people who would never think of denying anyone their civil rights. Sadly, was I ever wrong about that one.

But some comments took a different tack. They questioned whether donating money to the fight against Proposition 8 was a legitimate action for a public company to take, whether it was in the best interest of shareholders. Some argued that it was improper for Apple to take sides in a political issue because it could harm the company's bottom line.

I would argue that Apple is looking out for the best interests of its shareholders in making this donation. If I were a shareholder - and I may well be in what's left of my 401(k) plan - I'd want the company to do whatever it could to attract the most talented, most diverse group of employees - and treat them equally.

A company where everyone's rights are respected and everyone is invited to the table - regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation, - is simply a better company and it's going to attract better workers. If you shut off one segment of the population, you run the risk of losing some talented, creative people. And a company like the Cupertino, Calif.-based Apple, which relies on continued innovation to be successful, should be drawing from as wide a pool as possible.

To me, offering equal benefits to employees' same-sex partners and fighting a ballot measure that would deny those employees their civil rights are two strands of the commitment to diversity and equality. It's a commitment that most American companies have made. It tells potential employees - and customers - that everyone is welcome and respected.

Apple is absolutely correct - this is a civil rights issue, just as the fight for equal rights for African-Americans was a civil rights issue. It's not about politics or religion or raising children. It has nothing to do with your personal feelings about gay people any more than the earlier struggle for civil rights had anything to do with your personal feelings about black people.

Standing up for equality is simply the right thing to do, the American thing to do and, I would argue, it's part of being a good corporate citizen.

Proposition 8 is "mean-spirited''

I missed this editorial in Sunday's New York Times, but it's pretty terrific for the way it gets to the core of the argument in favor of marriage equality.

The Times is urging California residents to vote "No" in November on Proposition 8, which would amend the state Constitution to prevent same-sex couples from marrying. The ballot measure would overturn May's state Supreme Court ruling that enabled gay and lesbian couples to marry.

(The Times also notes that similar discriminatory measures are on the ballot in Arizona and Florida, and says that they also should be rejected.)

Here's the key paragraph from the editorial:

"Opponents of giving gay couples the protections, dignity and respect that come with marriage are working furiously to try to overturn the court ruling through Proposition 8. It is our fervent hope that Californians will reject this mean-spirited attempt to embed second-class treatment of one group of citizens in the State Constitution."

In its news articles, the Times can sometimes be a little dense and wordy. But the editorial gets to the point succinctly: this is about protection, dignity and respect. And the ballot question is mean-spirited. While I don't live in California, as an American, I don't want to see anyone's civil rights taken away or any group of people treated as second-class citizens.

And this part made me smile because it's so matter of fact in the way it states what should be perfectly obvious but needs to be said anyway:

"The proponents of Proposition 8 make the familiar claim that legalizing same-sex marriage undercuts marriage between men and women. But thousands of gay and lesbian couples have been married in California since the May ruling and marriage remains intact."

Although the Times doesn't mention it, just for the record, I'm pretty sure the sky hasn't fallen in California either.

While there have been some high-profile weddings in California, I think what's most interesting, and crucial, is to read the stories of couples who aren't celebrities but just normal, everyday people - your neighbors or friends or coworkers or family members.

So, just in case you're a California voter and you happen to stumble across my blog, please read about these couples who've tied the knot in Massachusetts, where gay marriage has been legal since 2004. (And where heterosexual marriage remains intact!) While you won't recognize their names, I'm sure their stories will resonate.

And at The Wicked Stage, Rob Weinert-Kendt has posted a sweet two-minute anti-anti-gay-marriage proposition video by Dave Barton from Rude Guerrilla Theater Company in Santa Ana, Calif., that also gets to the heart of the matter. (I'll definitely be adding Rude Guerrilla to my list of clever theatre names.)